To Stop an Argument

Any argument is unpleasant and annoying. People often regret about words told in the heat of an argument, but very few can overcome pride and admit their mistakes.
Maybe it would be better not to bring up the argument? Let us try to figure out in what ways you can stop the argument.

1. Deeply breathe in and slowly breathe out.
If you feel that mere discontent comes into a loud arguing, spot it and make a deep breath and slowly breathe out. This one breath could help you and your opponent to calm down.

2. Be silent.
If your nervous system is strong and resistant to external distortions, then this method is for you. When the argument only starts, your partner is moaning or disagreeing, keep quite. Let him say everything that he thinks. Maybe he does not need your answers; it just needs to come out!

3. Long live compromise!
Arguments between partners, lovers and friends are very often occurring because people do not compromise. Even if you are very short-tempered, try to evaluate the situation right: whether to argue or not, what could be the effect of an argument on a relationship, and maybe it is better to agree to give up? Of course, this works not in all situations.

4. Turn it into a joke.
Sometimes an appropriate joke turns an argument to none. But it is true, that a joke could heat the air for fights even more. Your partner might think that you make fun of him and who would like when people laugh over him?

5. Change the topic.
One of the ways to extinguish a conflict situation is to switch the topic so that it won’t be connected to the cause of quarrel. Perhaps in a few minutes you will forget how it all started.

If you did argue.
Do not be afraid to admit your fault and apologize. The word “sorry” is a short but very meaningful and important. Think about how important for you to convince someone in something? Maybe it is better to embrace and make up an argument?

my collection of painting

No Woman No Cry

Strange creations women are: when they are sad – they cry, when they are happy – they also cry. What is it about woman’s cry that men hate? First thing first there are different reasons to cry and before starting to overcome crying we should decide if this cry reasonable or not. The way to look at it is that if the thought during crying about ME, then this cry is unreasonable and even harmful. If you cry with thoughts about somebody else’s problems you don’t need to worry about your emotional health, – it is right. Why then cry about yourself wrong and harmful? Because it is built up on your self-pity and negativity. Unhappiness and misery are occupying your mind and you crawl into self-pity from this unfair world and nasty people. You don’t see that this misery doesn’t exist in the world, but in your mind. Crying is only good for a short while as anesthetic, but it becomes a bad addictive habit with time. Children are meant to cry to attract everybody’s attention when they are hurt, adults not. Your partner can lose his face and respect with you if he sees you are addicted to cry. It means for him that you are little baby, that he should take care of you and you won’t take of him, because children are dependant on their parents. So, if you want to be equal and respected in a relationship, my advice to you: take a grip over your life. Be responsible and optimistic. Realize your opportunities and take positive actions. You always have a choice and this power of choice is yours. Responsibility for your life that you are so freighted of is your key to happiness.

Woman’s Smile

Woman’s smile can do incredible things: win, seduce, attract. This is woman’s wealth and weapon, which can be used as long as you want. It is a pity that so many women do not understand this, they give everybody angry or glooms looks and then are surprised that no one likes them. A smile on your face is not only a decoration, it is also provokes response smiles and make people who see you happier.

Even if you do not want to you need to smile: nothing age a woman so as omitted corners of her lips. Smile and you save your charm for long time. By the way, it is easier to smile than to frown. When you frown, you force 43 muscles and when smile – only 17. Consequently, the more you frown, the more you will have wrinkles.

Try to control your mood during a day: be funny and cheerful. Smile to salesperson in a store, a person in the subway, who stood on your foot, to work colleague, which explains you your mistakes. And you will see quite another attitude to you. Then the world around you will become kinder.

Communication Differences of Man and Woman

That men and women are on different wavelengths when it comes to communicating is probably not news to you. It’s not hard, from even simple observations, to see the potential problems when men and women communicate. Sociolinguist Deborah Tannen, who has written a book called You Just Don’t Understand: Women and Men in Conversation, made an attempt to study the differences in man-woman communication.

She observed, that women create feelings of closeness by conversing with their friends and lovers. Men don’t use communication in this way, so they can’t figure out why their women are continually talk, talk, talking. Eventually, many men just tune their women out. Men are confused by the various ways women use conversation to be intimate with others. One of these ways is “troubles talk”. Tannen notes, that for women, talking about troubles is the essence of connection. I tell you my troubles, you tell me your troubles, and we’re close. Men, however, hear troubles talk as a request for advice, so they respond with a solution.

When a man offers this kind of information the woman often feels as if he is trying to diminish her problem or cut her off. The woman, craving closeness and intimacy with her man, talks to him about her problems with friends, family, her job, etc. She seeks to have her man respond as her girlfriends have always done, and talk with her about his concerns. The man, however, hears these conversations as requests for advice, not intimacy. He considers the problem and offers a solution, or dismisses the issue. When his woman continues to go on about these same concerns, showing no movement to consider his advice, he becomes confused and eventually angry; he begins to believe that his woman is an expert at talking about nothing. The woman begins to feel that her man doesn’t care about her because he won’t talk to her in a way that feels intimate.

The author concludes that women must learn that the kind of intimate talk they have with their girlfriends should remain just that. Trying to turn your man into a girlfriend will usually fail because men, in general, don’t create feelings of closeness in that way. Men, too can understand that when their woman is talking, she is attempting to connect to him-she’s not just talking to talk, nor is she trying to readjust the status of their relationship. By sharing more of himself he shows her, in a way she can understand, that he’s not pushing her away; that he does indeed love her and want to be close to her.

Does your Relationship need a Change?

Life is unpredictable and you never know where you could be this time next year. The same happens to our relationships: they change as our life goes. Some people find it sad and the other are happy about this fact. The secret of long-lasting happy relationships, to my mind, is to keep them dynamic, flexible, and able to adjust quick to the situations.

Couples that have ever met up with difficulties and went stronger together out of them are happier than those who never had such challengers in their relationship. To grow and become stronger for your relationship it needs changes otherwise it has no chance to last long. It means that each of spouses should be responsible for their own development and growth to become happier and to make a relationship happier and stronger.

Men's World Cup Rules... For Women

1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me.
If you decide to stand in the buff in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor....it wont happen.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.
6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch??", the reply will be: "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, etc etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Regards,
Men of the World

Don’t Worry, Be Happy

I thought today that I cannot plan my future because I don't know what will be in my life even in one month. These feelings of panic, unstable life, fear and worries for my future flood my mind. My thoughts are jumping chaotically from one point to another, looking for ways to stabilise this situation even a little bit. Every one of us was in similar position in some state of his life. Some of us learned valuable lessons, some not. First thing first no matter how unpredictable our future looks today there is no need for worry. Imaginary fear and worry are the worst helpers in this situation. They take away your ability to think clearly, make you act inadequate and fail to improve the situation. And another thing that is very important – nobody knows what the future brings and nobody can say it for sure. It depends only on 50% from our thoughts and actions, so do what you can do and leave the other part to God. All seem to bring a risk in our life: taking a new job, going into marriage, falling in love with someone. But as the Russian saying goes: who is not taking risk in his life wont be drinking champagne. So, if you would like to celebrate your successes you should take risks.

How to Stop an Argument

Any argument is unpleasant and annoying. People often regret about words told in the heat of an argument, but very few can overcome pride and admit their mistakes.
Maybe it would be better not to bring up the argument? Let us try to figure out in what ways you can stop the argument.

1. Deeply breathe in and slowly breathe out.
If you feel that mere discontent comes into a loud arguing, spot it and make a deep breath and slowly breathe out. This one breath could help you and your opponent to calm down.

2. Be silent.
If your nervous system is strong and resistant to external distortions, then this method is for you. When the argument only starts, your partner is moaning or disagreeing, keep quite. Let him say everything that he thinks. Maybe he does not need your answers; it just needs to come out!

3. Long live compromise!
Arguments between partners, lovers and friends are very often occurring because people do not compromise. Even if you are very short-tempered, try to evaluate the situation right: whether to argue or not, what could be the effect of an argument on a relationship, and maybe it is better to agree to give up? Of course, this works not in all situations.

4. Turn it into a joke.
Sometimes an appropriate joke turns an argument to none. But it is true, that a joke could heat the air for fights even more. Your partner might think that you make fun of him and who would like when people laugh over him?

5. Change the topic.
One of the ways to extinguish a conflict situation is to switch the topic so that it won’t be connected to the cause of quarrel. Perhaps in a few minutes you will forget how it all started.

If you did argue.
Do not be afraid to admit your fault and apologize. The word “sorry” is a short but very meaningful and important. Think about how important for you to convince someone in something? Maybe it is better to embrace and make up an argument?

How to Love Yourself

We all know that if we don't love ourselves we cannot love other person. The greatest book ever I read about self love role on improving one's life is of Luisa Hey. Her philosophy is built on simple and very powerful laws of love. She teaches us how to love ourselves:
1. Stop criticizing. The criticism has never changed anybody. Stop criticizing yourselves. Please, accept yourself as you are. When you criticize yourself, your changes are negative. If you approve yourself, you change positively.
2. Stop bully yourselves with you own thoughts. This is a terrible way of life.
Look for an image that is pleasant for you (for me this are yellow roses), and immediately switch from frightening thoughts to you enjoyable ones.
3. Be gentle, kind and patient. Be generous with yourself. Be kind to yourself.
Be patient as you learn a new way of thinking. Treat yourself as you would treat people that you truly love.
4. Be kind to your mind. To hate oneself is to hate your own thoughts. Don't do this. It is better to change them.
5. Praise yourselves. Criticism destroys the inner spirit. Praise strengthens it.
Praise yourself as much as possible. Tell yourself how well you manage each trifle.
6. Support yourself. Find ways to support yourselves refer to friends and let them help you.
It is natural to ask for help when you need it.
7. Love your weaknesses. Recognise that you have created them to meet some of your own needs. Now you are looking for more positive ways to meet your needs. So, gently get rid of the old negative behaviour.
8. Take care of your body. Learn how to eat right. What food needs your body for optimum energy and vitality? Learn exercise. Which will bring you pleasure? Love and respect the house where you live.
9. Work with mirror. Look more often into your eyes. Express the growing sense of self-love.
Looking in the mirror, forgive yourselves. At least once a day say to yourself: “I love you. I really love you.”
10. Do it now. Do not wait until you lose weight, find a new job or new relationship est.
Start now and do everything you can.

Respect in a Relationship

love-respect1
Respect in a relationship means that each person values who the other one is, understands and would never challenge the other person’s boundaries. Love and respect should always exist together. When you love somebody, you make only good things to them. When you respect somebody, you acknowledge the right of the person to decide about what is actually good for them. Combining both feeling together you help your partner to fulfill his/her choice (in case it doesn’t contradict any of your own principles). But it is terrible if the first exists without the second.

Sometimes we are missing in our relationship listening in non-judgmental manner and an attempt to understand and affirm other’s emotions. If one partner’s self-respect is higher than the other’s it could easily lead to controlling and dominating behaviour of that one partner. Boundaries of self-respect are connected with set of values and beliefs in one’s life rather than feelings. When someone loves you, you feel valued, respected and free to be yourself. You are not meant to be feeling intimidated or controlled. Someone who loves you should help you to feel good about yourself. This is respect in a relationship which is the main key to a healthy, successful relationship.

Developing

MY FRIENDS AT MY OFFICE



Developing 100 friends in a year is not a gain, but developing 1 friend for 100 year it's an achievement. ( IN THE BLOG)

life is the art of drawing without an eraser…..

what you get by reaching your destinnation is not as important as , what you becom by reaching your destination

life is the art of drawing without an eraser….. so make a lines properly
we learn wisom from failure much more than from success, we often discover what will do by finding , out what will not do and probaply he who never made a mistake, never made a discovery.
life is made of millions of movements but we live only one of these movement at a time , as we begin to change this movement , we begin to change our lives.
purpose of life is live a life of purpose.

life like rainbow

Hey Friends!!

Just like the rainbow, Love also has so many colours, with each & every colour having their own meaning & value in everyone's life...just like --

Red Love - Red love is the most beautiful love in this world. This is for the soul-mates & life partners. This is observed in so many things like mehandi, sindoor, etc. Red is also the sign of alarm...

Yellow Love - Yellow love is for those who maintain & keeps up the beauty of purity, sanctity & decorum of their relationship with mutual respect & sharing. Who else other than friends could be blessed with this sacred love! This love is for real friends.

Green Love - Love traffic open for everyone. This is like mother nature's love where there is equal love for everyone around us.

White Love- White love is most often observed under compulsion (ceasefire), service (nursing) & duty. This works good to maintain peace and harmony, can also be called as "Peace Love".

Blue Love - Blue love is somewhat 'sin love', usually observed in pre-marital & extra-marital affairs.

Pink Love - Pink love is blissed for a mother to her baby. This is another boon love to all cute babies. Pink love buds out from the Red Love as a sign of love of the Red-lovers.

Orange Love - Hey! no need to tell about this love....yeah its love towards the nation, that resides in the hearts of every Indian...... "Basanti Love".

So guyz & gals lets share the right colour with our beloved ones.


(but one thing my colour is B&W)